Roadwolf's portal for his random thoughts and ponderings

Blog and Journal

Aquarium Update 2023

Blog and Journal

So it has been 5 years since I set up my salt water reef aquarium. How are things going now? Well, the aquarium is still alive, and I still run it which in this economy is amazing. It isn't cheap to run, so that is something I have kept up on.

However I haven't taken care of it at all otherwise for over a year now. I still had my original Royal Gramma, and a few other critters in there from the original build, but otherwise the aquarium was mostly a coral reef. The coral was still growing however some algae took over the tank and began growing over the green star coral. I didn't mind that so much as the green star coral was overtaking the tank. Read more


Blog and Journal

We all have to stay up to date and ensure we have the latest and greatest apps and gear installed. That is the 'Tech' rally cry these days. For to ensure we are up to date and our software is patched to the latest release, is to ensure our safety. But at the end of the day just how much does it cost us? Read more

Crash-o-Rama Weekend!

Blog and Journal Adventures

Another weekend, another adventure. My mate was super curious to attend the Holland Speedway's Crash-o-rama event on September 9th 2023. It had been ages since I had been to a race / demo derby myself, so I was also very interested in this event. The event was full of good old boys and gals, and indeed a lot of 'Fuck Joe Biden', or 'Let's go brandon' kind of mindset was taking place. It was excellent. A good patriotic vibe through and through. Indeed a lot of people are very upset with how this corrupt administration is destroying this great country, but that isn't a topic for this post.

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2023 Life Update - Dad Life and Other Thoughts.

Blog and Journal 1

Things are going well for me, and my pack. My partner and I are enjoying our little family, and there is talk of enlarging the pack already. My 5 month old little boy is growing strong, and healthy. He is super cute and loves to smile which makes us smile. For me, life seems complete. This is what I have lived for, and what my life is about. Both my partner and I feel that we are both what each other needs in our lives. Read more

Farewell IMVU

Blog and Journal

IMVU has been a community which I have been involved in on and off for almost ten years now. Originally, I found it to be a great place to roleplay as a wild wolf, it became a lovely social environment for myself. Some of the people I met there had profound impacts on how my journey in life played out.

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July 30th Adventure

Adventures Blog and Journal

July 30th was a wonderful adventure. After mass and a quick stop at my work, we headed out towards Golden Hill. We finally made it to the Golden Hill State Park's Lighthouse when it was open for tours. The kids were a little sad that it wasn't what they thought was a super high light house, but after climbing the 60 steps they seemed to understand that it wasn't exactly small either. We could see Toronto from the top, and spotted a young Bald Eagle flying past. Little Matthew had his first experience up on a Lighthouse. Read more

Subjective Dynamic

Thoughts and Politics Blog and Journal

I wanted to touch a little bit upon my past, and how that may or may not relate to my current situation.

I am very selective with whom I choose to be close with. I see society as being in a constant state of flux, and thus unworthy of deep commitment to social norms. But that doesn't mean I am any sort of rebel or socially inept individual. On the contrary, I was raised as a Roman Catholic, and while it has been a while since I have been active in the church, I still do practice the teachings and believe that being kind, respectful and helpful, even to strangers, is the ideal way to go about ones day. But I am not one to try to impress others by trying to prove that I fall within their definition of what they think I should be. I am just me, and I just focus on being the best me I can be.

Those whom are in my circle of trust - those I consider part of my pack - I am protective of. They have obviously earned my respect, and I have also earned their respect. I generally limit how much I allow someone to get to know me unless they are within my pack. Even this blog is only a very filtered selection of snippets of topics which have interested me over the years, or topics which I have felt the need to write about for my own interest or understanding. In no way is this blog meant to be a magical portal to define me.

While through my adult life, I have generally more often had a smaller pack, there were times where my pack numbered in the dozens. And through various relationships, I have also explored a number of types of love, and emotional bonds. I have also experienced pain and betrayal as well. I often will say that while calm waters offer a relaxing paddle, it is the stormy seas that will teach you the most about life.

Life is Dynamic. We change and evolve as we live it and explore various lifestyles and interests. I have had many interests and experiences, and as such I have a fairly wide scope from which to reference from.

During my early twenties, I ended up marrying my best female friend. We did Love each other, but I am not really sure to what extent. We still were both missing something from each other. Sure, I was still young, and still hadn't learned a lot about how to treat a lady, or even how to be a fully helpful domestic partner. I'll admit I did take her for granted, as she did me. I had moved right from my parents basement into a live in situation with her. But before we had even gotten a proper apartment together, we had already decided that being Polyamorous was what we wanted. Part of that was due to both of us finding other partners on WoW, which piqued our interest. This started me down a path which led me down a bit of a rabbit hole.

After a few partners, I caught the attention of a female who claimed to be a 'submissive'. She told me I had all sorts of great qualities that a good natural Dom has. I easily and effortlessly earn respect. I am open minded and like to explore. And I am firm and grounded. Indeed this caused me to delve into this topic to explore it. Part of this blog was dedicated to helping me figure out what was what, and try to explain (mostly to myself), how that complex subculture of Dom/sub worked.

Realistically, the role of Dom/sub that I see myself as having been part of, is absolutely not some kinky dungeon view of any full on BDSM, whip wielding Dominant who just wants to impart pain and punishment and control over everyone under him. Not at all. In fact, I prefer to discuss and have a mutual agreement on things. I am calm, and I take time to think about things before acting or deciding. There are so many options and approaches to every choice or direction, and weighing those options for the most logical or wisest approach is always ideal. I believe that my position is more so that of a partner who is grounded and helps support and prop up his partner so that together we make a strong team.

That dynamic or topic is for sure very complex, and I guess it should just be stated that if you aren't open minded, perhaps you just aren't mentally capable of understanding such topics. In which case, such a person really shouldn't be reading this blog. Any post on here might be too much for them to process.

I believe wisdom comes with age and experience. I do however try to be logical and methodical. Sometimes the need to examine a topic in a logical manner, is the sole purpose of writing a post on here. On top of that I have a stubbornness, which once I have formed a logical conclusion, it is difficult to sway me from it unless a more logical direction is suggested. But my firmness and grounded level headed mannerisms, combined with that decision making gives me the ability to be an effective guide. That Dominant guidance, is often what a more submissive person may seek. Someone who can help guide them with logical choices, while being strong and helping propel them forward and upwards.

Just because someone is a submissive, or a Dominant doesn't mean they are always into kinky things either. In fact, many just like the more old school dynamic. But even so, the comfort, and protection a Dominant partner gives to their submissive partner often does inspire more intimate connection, and thus fuels more adventure in the bedroom.

Sure there are couples out there that prefer to just stay between the lines and never venture into any explorative ventures. That is fine. But I do tend to enjoy spice.

That being said, this doesn't mean that someone who has a spicy lifestyle would not be a good parent. The ability to be open minded, but also firm and grounded, I believe will make me an excellent parent. Those who are close to me all agree, and suggest that I will be a great dad.

But there are very closed minded people out there, who will subjectively read posts from my past, and form a judgement (prejudice) on who I am based solely on writings, sometimes from years ago and in previous relationships and dynamics. Honestly, if someone is that shallow that they will subjectively form a strong opinion on someone else without actually interacting with them, just based upon a blog, then that person isn't someone I want to get to know in any way, anyhow. And that person can not claim to know me in any meaningful way. Read more

The Blizzard of '22

Blog and Journal Adventures

This massive Christmas Storm that spread across the country and was massively hyped, seemed to pass by most places with less concern than the hype seemed to warrant. But Buffalo, NY was not one of those places. For Buffalo, the Christmas Eve Blizzard of '22 will be remembered for centuries. And I am one of those 'essential' workers who decided to go against the grain, and come into work on this fateful Friday.


We were all very well aware of the predictions. And directives from the higher up's regarding if we were to report to work or not was speculative at best. Most of management had Friday off anyhow, so for those on the ground, who didn't have Friday off, it was a little confusing. For me though, I knew I always have the option to come into work and do my part. Even if my part is just sitting on standby and making sure systems stay up and running. So my plan was always to try to make it into work for this specific storm. I prepared blankets, food, and fueled up in preparation for being stuck at work for a while. However, I really had no clue what I was signing up for.

Now, I am 'Roadwolf' after all. I earned that nick name from tow truck drivers up in Toronto, as being a 'lone wolf' who patrolled the roads helping people out who were stranded in winter storms. So yes, I grew up driving in winter storms. It is something which actually I find exciting and strangely relaxing at times. And yes I do understand the danger inherit in some winter situations and do my best to avoid putting myself in such dangerous situations. That being said, most Buffalo snow events that I experience, save for the somewhat 'normal' 6ft snow dumping's that sometimes hit the Southtowns, I usually pass off as big nothing burgers. Unimpressive or at least just a little tricky to handle, but not horrible.


This however. This Blizzard was like nothing I have ever experienced. 70+ mph winds!

My day started off with a fairly normal commute in on the I-190 along the Niagara River. It was 40 degrees, and rainy. But the wind hadn't started yet. I clocked in at a location which is right beside the Buffalo River. And proceeded to my shop location which is a little further inland, in the downtown Core.

I went about my morning routine, but the storm began to brew. I was pleasantly surprised that eCafe was open. Krystal (or Crystal?) who owns it was shocked to see someone come through the door I think. But she was very happy to make me some fresh yummy food. The eCafe by Seneca is a great place, and I do enjoy frequenting it when I can. I ended up helping out a little bit by shuttling someone around the city, and also responded to a call for some faulty equipment up near Amherst, NY. But since I was going to head out that far, in the already growing wind and snowy conditions, my supervisor asked if I could bring a plow truck out there to see what I could do while I was up there. Sure, I said.


I loaded up with Salt and headed up that way. But as I got farther and Farther North the weather got worse and worse. I was able to accomplish my task, but conditions became dangerous. My windshield was icing up and on top of that visibility was between 20ft and 0ft. Slowly I crept back downtown along Main Street, watching for blobs through the icey window, assuming they were stuck cars. I sometimes found myself well on the other side of the road, only noticing that because I saw street lights a lot closer to my drivers side window than they should of been. There was no way to gauge where in the road one was. Let alone where one was. A coworker actually ended up on the incorrect road. You really couldn't tell. And intersections became like Russian Roulette. Sometimes being completely unable to see the signal light or even realize you were entering an intersection until you were already in it.


Supervisors made the right call and called everyone back. Told us to shelter. And so I did. I am lucky to have a good shop in the depths of an official dispatch center of sorts. Police, and other agencies have a presence in the building, and therefore it is well protected, has a solid backup power system, and most of the comforts of home.

I was working on some radio repairs and monitoring and programming some two-way radio communications devices much of the rest of the day. It was astounding to hear just how bad it was out there. So many stranded and abandoned vehicles all through the city. People still in them. Hours later! I suppose some people aren't really too bright. There was more than enough warning for this storm. I knew having seen what I saw that there was no way I would get into my personal vehicle and attempt to drive anywhere, let alone home in this weather. There is really no excuse for anyone else to be out. And uber or lyft drivers, shame on you.

The conditions are so bad that indeed all plows have been pulled off of the roads. No roads are able to be plowed until visibility on the roads improves. Now with all of the abandoned or stranded vehicles (some of which will likely have dead people in them by the time the visibility improves), these roads likely won't be plowed until well into Christmas Day or beyond.


In any case, a lot of those people got stuck in gridlock or snow, and stranded. Which in turn made it impossible for Buffalo Fire to respond to many calls. But eventually the snow got high enough that even on clear roads, the fire trucks got stuck. Engine 1 ended up getting stuck not far from my location. As seen in the photo, my car is parked in the parking lot and Engine 1 struggles in deep snow a few hundred feet beyond. I trudged out to them a couple times to offer them a warm place to come and warm up if they had to wait it out, but luckily they were able to have another truck come by to rescue them. But they did end up abandoning the Engine right where it was, and it remains there as I write this.

I am going to call it a night now, and get some shuteye. I have food and supplies for about 24 more hours. But I could likely stretch that a little. I am being very frugal with my eating. But the howling of that wind grows into the night. Even as deep inside the building as I am, I still hear the deep rumble of that Tropical Storm force wind. That is for sure a different sensation.
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Adventures with Terri

Blog and Journal

So far the past 9 months have given me so many great memories and lots of smiles. Adventures with Terri have always been fulfilling, memorable, and special.

I find we both have similar mindsets. We cuddle well, and we also have the same drive to get stuff done, and adventure. She, like me, is not a social media addict. Nor does she like TV. She doesn't have her phone out all the time. She is in fact a person who enjoys living life. If we are spending time together, usually by the time we have to say goodbye, our cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

I want to be with her all the time! So many ideas and projects, and adventures I want to experience with her by my side. And I do know she wants to be there to experience them too. Being away from her is so very lonely. I do get sad when I haven't heard from her in a while.

Starting in June of last year we began meeting up regularly. I would typically drive to the Ohio / PA border and meet her there on a day when she was supposed to be working. We would spend several hours adventuring. If it was a rainy day, I would book a hotel room, and we would spend it in there watching movies, and cuddling, and playing. All in all, we have spent a lot of time together over the past 9 months.

Some adventures we've been on include touring the covered bridges of Ashtabula County, Ohio. A wild adventure into Amish Country to look for Grape Pie, which ended up being a wild ride!


Visiting the Lake Erie shoreline at Raccoon Park, The Rock, and Erie Bluffs State Park in PA. Renting a pontoon boat in Pymatuning Reservoir, and beaching it on a deserted beach to have a picnic and swim with sand between our toes!



We've gone shooting in the woods at targets! I showed her how to fire my AK47 of all things even! We've visited Lighthouses, and even watched Trains together.


We've visited Lake Ontario, and Niagara Falls. We went to a NHL Hockey Game, where the Sabre's won! We visited a bridge in NY that one of her co-workers is helping to design parts for.


Terri however is currently living in Ohio with her kids. She has always been the best mother and the primary parent. She has almost single handedly raised 3 great kids who are the best behaved and cutest kids I have seen. And surely that comes from Terri's love of life, and her attention and care. From her actually being a parent, and not relying on the TV or video games to help raise her kids. She is a super hero in my eyes for what she has accomplished.

I do hope she can move here. We will make for a super happy couple, and a great home with a loving, positive, and supportive environment.

But how did we meet? Terri and I originally met on World of Warcraft way back in 2004. She was unmarried, without kids at the time. She hadn't even met her husband yet, I don't believe. We grew close, but she got spooked when I mentioned that a female was moving in with me because her house had flooded (it was an odd time in my life, and I often tried to help anyone). For many years we lost contact. Only back in 2013 did we re-gain communications. I learned of her marriage. She learned of mine. Neither of us were happy in our situation. But we stuck it out and went our own ways for a bit longer, maybe trying to make our situations work. They didn't.

We still game together tho! Even tho we like to adventure in the real world. We do enjoy playing video games socially with each other. We often play Valheim, Arma 3, and still sometimes even World of Warcraft.

Terri took my collar back in the summer of 2021. She knew the significance of it. And she still wears it proudly to this day. She is my love. My submissive. My everything. And when she isn't here with me, a part of me feels lost and without direction or order. Read more