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Wind Speed Chart

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An old wind speed chart I found in some random computer files I had from 12 years ago... I found it kinda funny. Enjoy.

Calm.
Windspeed: 0 to 1 mph

Too calm. People get edgy. Smoke from BBQ rises straight up, attracting buzzards. You can smell yourself.

Light air.
Windspeed: 2 to 3 mph

Leaves on trees don't move. Smoke from BBQ rises at a slight angle. You can still smell yourself.

Light Breeze.
Windspeed: 4 to 7 mph

Leaves on trees move. You can smell the guy next to you.

Gentle Breeze.
Windspeed: 8 to 12 mph

Everyone can smell everyone. Oriental wind chimes get on your nerves.

Moderate Breeze.
Windspeed: 13 to 18 mph

Nuns make flapping sound. Leaves fly all over your yard.

Fresh Breeze.
Windspeed: 19 to 24 mph

Leaves fly all over your neighbour's yard. He yells at you, but you claim you can't hear him over the wind chimes.

Strong Breeze.
Windspeed: 25 to 31 mph

Difficult to walk. Drunks are blown over. Smoke from BBQ blown horizontally, right in to your eyes.

Moderate gale.
Windspeed: 32 to 38 mph

Trees move moderately. Boring uncle asks, "Windy enough for you?" Cheeks flap when you yawn. Aluminum patio furniture on the move.

Fresh gale.
Windspeed: 39 to 46 mph

Nuns blown over. Falling down drunks held upright. Clothes blow off clothesline. BBQ blown over-smoke from burning deck blows horizontally. Trees move rapidly.

Strong Gale.
Windspeed: 47 to 54 mph

Trees move slowly-across your lawn. Boring uncle says, "Windy? This is nothing. When I was young..." Your favourite toque blows off.

Whole Gale.
Windspeed: 55 to 63 mph

Your favourite shirt blows off. Neighbour's gas BBQ comes through your window. Your newly sodded lawn is now someone else's newly sodded lawn.

Storm.
Windspeed: 64 to 75 mph

You regret not hiring a pro to build your chimney. Boring uncle claims, "I've seen worse!" and is carried off by wind. People in trailer parks appear on tonight's news. Your underwear blows off.

Hurricane.
Windspeed: Over 75 mph

Your underwear blows off while you're indoors. People in trailer parks fly past your house. Your nose hairs whistle, even when you're not breathing. You can't close your eyes, even if you wanted to.


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