Roadwolf's portal for his random thoughts and ponderings

The Story of B

Not to be confused with the Story of O. B is how we will call an old friend of mine without specifically saying her name.

B and I met almost 8 years ago now. She happened to work very close to where I did, and we both worked the night shift. Night shifts were quiet, and we did spend a fair amount of time talking and getting to know each other. Thru the years we kind of kept in touch. We could joke around and laugh and sometimes we were there for each other in hard moments.

Our relationship was always platonic, tho often involved intimate discussions and talk of our kinks. But we did have, what I would say, a fun rapport with each other where we could grin or exchange looks and know exactly what we were thinking. There were at times some healthy D/s vibes going between us.

For a while, after Sable and I broke up, I had lost contact with B as I deleted my Facebook account. But to my surprise she ended up showing up and working at a place I frequent every morning!.

Now, I must say B is a lady whom I respect. She is a hard worker. She doesn't sugar coat things. She is attractive, and she is also super intelligent. I think that is something that I needed to grab my attention - someone who has some brains and 'common sense' (which is uncommon).

B also has some kids, and from what I have seen they are very cute, and well, kids are kids, so I am sure they can be a handful for B at times. I am not sure if B has a man in her life right now. I do know that I often see her stressed and wish I could say something to her to cheer her up, or even take her out to dinner. Yes there were times where I wish I could of given her a massage after she got home from work. I do care for B, and I think I can kind of tell when she needs someone to talk to, but I am always uncomfortable approaching her at work about it.

I know that she is likely also uncomfortable with deeper conversations while on the clock too, and there is never enough time to really get too involved. Personally, I know her birthday recently came about, and I really wanted to take her out to the Melting Pot for it, especially if she had no other major plans (and no significant other in her life who would get jealous or mad about it). She deserves to be pampered I believe. I still would if she wanted to spend some time with me.

I can tell B struggles a lot. I know she can't stand lazy people, and those who would walk all over her. I also imagine she struggles with money. I also detect some self-esteem or confidence issues maybe, but I always see a great person in her. Yeah we all have flaws. But I accept her for who she is, and imagine I could perhaps be a bit of a grounding rod to help relax her and boost up her confidence when she needs it. I don't believe B has ever been mad at me about anything, except maybe the 6am donut incident. And maybe the recent persistence to get in touch with her? I am not sure.

I have tried very hard to get thru to B lately - I'll admit to trying to guess and look up emails or phone numbers for her - as I lost her from my phone contacts too. Maybe that is a bit creepy, but I actually do find myself caring for her. Maybe she is being too stubborn to make the first move. I can't tell if she is playing hard to reach, or if maybe she isn't allowed to talk to other guys? If that is the case, I wish she would just tell me she is not available. Or maybe she really doesn't like me which I don't believe. Knowing B, I think she is honest and genuine enough that she wouldn't lead me on like that. Joking and being playful in calling me fun nick names and such. She also wouldn't be waiting there to see me every morning - someone else could always take care of me if she wanted to avoid me. But maybe she doesn't find me attractive?, or perhaps she still thinks I am into polyamory which I am not, and doesn't want to get involved with that. I don't blame her, but again, I am very monogamous now.

This is kind of why I have been trying hard to get thru to B. Because I do feel there could be something there, maybe. But I guess both of us have to feel that for it to become anything. I do know it is super hard to find a genuine person such as B. In any case, we will never know if we don't find a way to communicate beyond those passing moments. That being said, I am cool if things had to stay, as just those passing moments. I can accept that, but I just wish I knew if that was the borderline, or if there is unexplored territory beyond those moments waiting to be explored.

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