Roadwolf's portal for his random thoughts and ponderings

Subjective Dynamic

Thoughts and Politics Blog and Journal

I wanted to touch a little bit upon my past, and how that may or may not relate to my current situation.

I am very selective with whom I choose to be close with. I see society as being in a constant state of flux, and thus unworthy of deep commitment to social norms. But that doesn't mean I am any sort of rebel or socially inept individual. On the contrary, I was raised as a Roman Catholic, and while it has been a while since I have been active in the church, I still do practice the teachings and believe that being kind, respectful and helpful, even to strangers, is the ideal way to go about ones day. But I am not one to try to impress others by trying to prove that I fall within their definition of what they think I should be. I am just me, and I just focus on being the best me I can be.

Those whom are in my circle of trust - those I consider part of my pack - I am protective of. They have obviously earned my respect, and I have also earned their respect. I generally limit how much I allow someone to get to know me unless they are within my pack. Even this blog is only a very filtered selection of snippets of topics which have interested me over the years, or topics which I have felt the need to write about for my own interest or understanding. In no way is this blog meant to be a magical portal to define me.

While through my adult life, I have generally more often had a smaller pack, there were times where my pack numbered in the dozens. And through various relationships, I have also explored a number of types of love, and emotional bonds. I have also experienced pain and betrayal as well. I often will say that while calm waters offer a relaxing paddle, it is the stormy seas that will teach you the most about life.

Life is Dynamic. We change and evolve as we live it and explore various lifestyles and interests. I have had many interests and experiences, and as such I have a fairly wide scope from which to reference from.

During my early twenties, I ended up marrying my best female friend. We did Love each other, but I am not really sure to what extent. We still were both missing something from each other. Sure, I was still young, and still hadn't learned a lot about how to treat a lady, or even how to be a fully helpful domestic partner. I'll admit I did take her for granted, as she did me. I had moved right from my parents basement into a live in situation with her. But before we had even gotten a proper apartment together, we had already decided that being Polyamorous was what we wanted. Part of that was due to both of us finding other partners on WoW, which piqued our interest. This started me down a path which led me down a bit of a rabbit hole.

After a few partners, I caught the attention of a female who claimed to be a 'submissive'. She told me I had all sorts of great qualities that a good natural Dom has. I easily and effortlessly earn respect. I am open minded and like to explore. And I am firm and grounded. Indeed this caused me to delve into this topic to explore it. Part of this blog was dedicated to helping me figure out what was what, and try to explain (mostly to myself), how that complex subculture of Dom/sub worked.

Realistically, the role of Dom/sub that I see myself as having been part of, is absolutely not some kinky dungeon view of any full on BDSM, whip wielding Dominant who just wants to impart pain and punishment and control over everyone under him. Not at all. In fact, I prefer to discuss and have a mutual agreement on things. I am calm, and I take time to think about things before acting or deciding. There are so many options and approaches to every choice or direction, and weighing those options for the most logical or wisest approach is always ideal. I believe that my position is more so that of a partner who is grounded and helps support and prop up his partner so that together we make a strong team.

That dynamic or topic is for sure very complex, and I guess it should just be stated that if you aren't open minded, perhaps you just aren't mentally capable of understanding such topics. In which case, such a person really shouldn't be reading this blog. Any post on here might be too much for them to process.

I believe wisdom comes with age and experience. I do however try to be logical and methodical. Sometimes the need to examine a topic in a logical manner, is the sole purpose of writing a post on here. On top of that I have a stubbornness, which once I have formed a logical conclusion, it is difficult to sway me from it unless a more logical direction is suggested. But my firmness and grounded level headed mannerisms, combined with that decision making gives me the ability to be an effective guide. That Dominant guidance, is often what a more submissive person may seek. Someone who can help guide them with logical choices, while being strong and helping propel them forward and upwards.

Just because someone is a submissive, or a Dominant doesn't mean they are always into kinky things either. In fact, many just like the more old school dynamic. But even so, the comfort, and protection a Dominant partner gives to their submissive partner often does inspire more intimate connection, and thus fuels more adventure in the bedroom.

Sure there are couples out there that prefer to just stay between the lines and never venture into any explorative ventures. That is fine. But I do tend to enjoy spice.

That being said, this doesn't mean that someone who has a spicy lifestyle would not be a good parent. The ability to be open minded, but also firm and grounded, I believe will make me an excellent parent. Those who are close to me all agree, and suggest that I will be a great dad.

But there are very closed minded people out there, who will subjectively read posts from my past, and form a judgement (prejudice) on who I am based solely on writings, sometimes from years ago and in previous relationships and dynamics. Honestly, if someone is that shallow that they will subjectively form a strong opinion on someone else without actually interacting with them, just based upon a blog, then that person isn't someone I want to get to know in any way, anyhow. And that person can not claim to know me in any meaningful way.

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