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For the past 24 hours or so I have been struggling to write a nice post about my current relationship. I am finding it very hard to find the right words to say. I keep on referring to a comment which my friend wrote and realizing how awesome and true her statements were. When the comment was written, we had not met, but now after meeting, the words in that comment have really sunk in. Kellys post is straight from her heart, and it couldn't of been more accurate. In a way it inspired me to write my own post on my situation. I started typing a post in an 'article' style, but it was coming out in a very impersonal tone. So I figured that post was not what I was looking for. I believe that marriage should never be based on sex. Marriage should be based on whoever you are intimate and close to. But really, marriage is just a title for your primary friend in life. There will be other friends who come along, those friends may in turn actually mean more to you them your primary friend for a time. But that doesn't mean that your primary friend isn't your primary friend anymore. Of course I suppose if you introduce children into this it will change things. But as I am not planning on having children anytime soon, this is something I am not really qualified to talk about. I never really went into my marriage thinking it would be this opened. The marriage kind of evolved into what it is right now, and that is 2 great friends who compliment each other. I try to be there to comfort, support, understand and listen to my wife. I am also able to be there to comfort, support, understand, and listen to my friend. A direct result in this is that I grow intimate with whoever I am there for. It is not a sexual intimacy but an emotional intimacy. When I met Kelly, it evolved into physical intimacy. This is kind of natural since we already knew and trusted each other so very well. It is nice to have that trust, caring and respect funnel into a physical touch that one can feel, and a soft caress that tells someone you care. At Christmas time I got Kelly a gift. The gift was a blanket. it was not much, but, it is interesting that I should choose such a gift. It symbolizes the comforting and supportive relationship that the 2 of us have in a way. I believe that we all do need someone to help us thought tough times. Often that person can't be our spouse for various reasons. I believe that no one person could ever serve all the needs of another. While some people will turn to Gods and Pastors to comfort them and support them in times of need, others may turn to their parents or family. And others still will turn to friends. Often such a relationship works best if it is a two-way street. By that I mean that both partners are supportive of each other. In a religious or family setting, often support and understanding will only go one way. Sure I had a great time with Kelly... And I will not lie; There was a slight temptation to head back to Canada with her. But I returned home where I belong and in the end it seems the experience has made everyone's relationship stronger. I do truly love and care deeply for Kelly, but I also love and care deeply for Nightbird. A friend of mine brought up a question asking if i was going to get anything for Valentines day. My response was this: "if you want to do something special for your loved one, you shouldn't have to do it on a day that 'society' tells you you have to. I don't think that strong relationships need it to be honest. Its more for weak relationships which need strengthening or repair, or new relationships which are having trouble growing" My wife and friend seem to have a similar viewpoint and this says a lot. Not only do we believe our relationships to be strong, but we do not need a 'special' day to enforce them further. A big part of such a relationship is trust, honesty, communication and understanding... These seem to be traits which I have heard many guys seem to lack. But I am told I seem to have all of these traits myself. I seem to have no problems dividing my emotions and ensuring everyone is happy. Another big one is Respect. All partners should respect the time spent with the other partner. And that is also another thing I hear a lot of guys lack. Some guys will just want sex, others maybe want a wife to cook and clean for them... I think respecting your partner should always be your top priority. I am going to finish off with a quote from Kelly: "Keep those in your life who make you a better person. Keep the people who understand you closer. Keep your mind opened that not everything in life is black and white. You may one day find someone who can bring color into a cloudy day. This is what makes life exciting and a daily adventure. And always remember; “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” - Dr. Seuss" - Kelly I look forward to comments and discussion about this. :)


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