Roadwolf's portal for his random thoughts and ponderings

Given Up: Part 2

Blog and Journal

Back in March, I wrote a post called Given Up.

It has been a wild year. Things got crazy in March, and the world took a turn for the worse. Politics going nuts, as people who are just talking heads, and have agendas, pushed them to try to scare the public into a panic, to push a globalist agenda. We haven't seen anything like this, ever in our lifetime. No it isn't a Pandemic. It is far from it. If people saw a real pandemic, you wouldn't need the news trying to scare people... They would be naturally scared.

Dealing with all of the associated bullshit with that, and the added stresses of taking on more weight and responsibility at work, hasn't been easy for me. Especially when things hadn't changed at home. Having to deal with suicides, or fatalities, riots and threats against me because I am white, hasn't been overly easy.

Which again comes down to me needing that support at home. And it wasn't happening. I did bring it up again back in early November, and was told that I should just find myself another lady friend to handle those needs. But I tried this before, and know that finding someone on the side, doesn't provide the intimacy that I need. To me it was gravely concerning that Sable would suggest this, and told me that a lot of what I feared in that previous post, was true. Sable didn't want to even bother trying. She also didn't care about my needs, nor want to support me.

That is when I said ya know what. I am done. I give up even trying, because I know she doesn't want to try. I am looking for someone new, because there has to be someone out there better for me.

And within 24 hours, I had a few people who had heard the news that I was back on the market, very interested in me again. I guess it feels good to know I am a hot commodity. But it was also concerning. What was I going to be jumping into this next time? I need to make sure my next girlfriend is going to be ambitious, and willing to help and pull their own weight. I need to make sure they are compatible with me - knowing how complex I am, of a person to deal with, makes that a challenge in it's self. I also need to know that then can handle my higher sex drive, and slightly kinkier than normal side.

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