Roadwolf's portal for his random thoughts and ponderings

Courting and Dabbling

Lifestyle and Erotica

I suppose this is another life update, as I can't seem to quite narrow down a specific topic. So I will just type and see what I can formulate. Hmm so to update the world since the last posting... Gosh that was when? Ah yes. Only back in September! I forgot about that. Well indeed non-monogamy does have a part to play in this post as well. I remember writing that post because the issue was on my mind. Not only had I had to explain polyamory to many people, but I was also struggling with my own desires and goals.

Indeed for about a month, I had a short lived, but still very engaging relationship with a girl who lived here in my town. She was only a few blocks away in fact. We started off as friends on fetlife, but things escalated to the point where we were meeting in person to chat. We both knew from the start that we were each really seeking different things, but I think we were also both a little curious - so we decided to try and see where things went.

Unfortunately they didn't get too far. I was caught in an interesting area where the two of us were becoming quite sexually driven, and passionate (as a D/s relationship is...) but my wife had concerns on safety and needed to know that my partner was going to only be seeing me, for safety reasons. So in order to move on I kinda needed that, but my partner wasn't ready to commit to that just yet as she still wasn't sure if things would work out. So this became an impasse which eventually ended things.

Of note, as an example of just how much self control I have, the fact that she wouldn't commit to me in some meaningful form meant I wouldn't have sexual relations with her. This was tested when, one day she invited me over and was laying completely naked in bed, her legs spread. I wouldn't do it. I sat there and pet her, and caressed her, but I didn't have sex with her. Even when she went into the bathroom to pee, keeping the door opened, so I could see - knowing full well that watersports is one of my biggest fetishes, I still wouldn't do it. Why not? Because she wouldn't commit to me, and because my wife didn't want me playing with her if she didn't commit to me.

I have been getting back into IMVU a tad. I really have kind of convinced myself that a sub is something I want I suppose. Specifically a local or live in sub. So I have been kinda looking, possibly too hard, for someone who is looking for what I have to offer, and whom knows what they are getting into. I don't want to get lost in another IMVU roleplay focused relationship... I need to start focusing on real life things. I can't sit here and waste my life away sitting online all the time.

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