Roadwolf's portal for his random thoughts and ponderings

2023 Life Update - Dad Life and Other Thoughts.

Blog and Journal 1

Things are going well for me, and my pack. My partner and I are enjoying our little family, and there is talk of enlarging the pack already. My 5 month old little boy is growing strong, and healthy. He is super cute and loves to smile which makes us smile. For me, life seems complete. This is what I have lived for, and what my life is about. Both my partner and I feel that we are both what each other needs in our lives.

Our dynamic is fairly old school. Yes I am more Dominant, and she is more submissive and we do explore the lifestyle somewhat. But I think this is a far more traditional old school relationship than most these days. The way couples are supposed to be. It is fun because neither of us think highly of the News or TV, or of social trends. People will visit and ask why the TV isn't on. Well, because we should be entertained by each other. Not by some crap that they feed to us on a program.

Even gaming is something I rarely have time for any more. Focus on the family while we are together, and the needs of the household. We were talking on our walk last night about how I used to go out of my way to help and rescue people - how I used to play the savior and hero. And how I no longer feel the need to do this. I think part of that is because I was jaded by a few too many people whom I went out on a limb to help, and ended up getting taken advantage of. But I think that is also because I found my focus in life. And that focus is having a family with my love, and enjoying every day of my life with my family as a team or pack.

This past summer was the first time I really got to be a Dad. I suddenly had 4 kids living under my roof. But I jumped into the swing of things fairly easily. I was always told I would make a good dad, and I think maybe I proved that? Sure there were moments where I was unsure of what to do, and there were moments where my partner was jealous of the kids spending time with me, and vice versa. But that is just something that will work out in time. All in all it was enjoyable, and I found that I was living every day with a plan to make life enjoyable and adventurous for the kids. I would plan meals before I got home from work, I would plan adventures every day I had off, and I would also focus on ensuring my partners needs and emotional stress levels were taken care of before going to bed every night. It is always great when everyone ends the day happy.

I know that the children had made comments like "it feels like we are alive here", and other similar comments. They noticed how a loving couple should be, and some drawings were made showing us with hearts between us and holding hands. It is very sweet to see this from kids and they can surely see what a good household looks like. A few times I was referred to as 'Dad' even, and I could tell I was being somewhat accepted.

My partners family is a little odd, and that is the only remaining stressor besides the divorce issues / kids being in Ohio. They do have a tendency to be overprotective and I know they do stalk this blog often. Apparently I am very interesting to them. Or Horrifying? Either way. My opinion of some of them is very negative based on some of their actions. I will keep those opinions to other posts.

I am the way I am and I am not ashamed of me. And my partner loves me for being me, so who cares what they think? But if it bothers them that much, then it sucks to be them. They can choose to ignore it, and/or I will just enjoy continuing to push their buttons. In any case I do enjoy the added page views from Ohio. Extra traffic on the site is always helpful.

Being a Pisces my whole thing is being happy and playful. I don't follow social norms that is for sure. But my main thing is loving life and enjoying the small happy everyday things. I never was, and never will be someone who attempts to bend himself to impress someone else, or adjust to their expectations.

People worry about things well beyond their control, or that aren't even worth worrying about. But often remain ignorant or oblivious to things they should really concern themselves with. Or I guess if people really enjoy stress they can worry about everything all at once. This is the way one of my friends is.

It sucks to watch him stress about the world, and about how people think about him, and everything else. And he wonders why he can't sleep at night. Dude, most of this is self inflicted.

I think a lot of people just don't really have a clue about the realities of life. But how would people know unless they've been there and seen it? The news / media doesn't really cover things in a fair or objective manner any more. So everything has a bias, and a slant in order to stir specific emotions in people. And they do this to control how people think and behave. But I've been saying this for years ever since I myself worked in the news media, but there are people now who are just beginning to wake up to this and are jumping up and down thinking they have discovered something revolutionary. Good on them. But Step one is to turn off the news and social media. So if you are still watching it and thinking it is BS, then that stress is on you.

It is good to see Russia making progress in Ukraine. Zelenski needs to be taken out, that is for sure. He was a Western Puppet, and really NATO nor America has no business being in Ukraine. It is historically a deeply Russian focused state. It is their right to be there and to defend their borders and kin-folk from Western sponsored genocide. Kind of reminds me of Bosnia and the Croat's and Serb's which the States helped to fuel back in the 90'tys too. Tho you never really heard of that war too much did ya? Or the Western involvement. My mother was a nurse for the Canadian UN peacekeepers there at the time and was involved in the battles to some extent. Funny that American agencies were funding and supporting the people who were in turn comitting genocide and firing upon Canadian UN forces. But no, that never could happen, that is unheard of right?

I know our media and social culture has told us that Ukraine is the victim here and that my stance on this seems to go against the grain. But so many people just repeat what they see on their social and news feeds. The lack of deeper understanding is where the issue is. And believe me, it goes super deep. But so many people refuse to see their own country as the bad guy. But guess what, if you are always viewing the world through rose colored glasses then you might not see that.

Coming from Canada, I grew up in a Socialist state where the media (in which I worked) flooded the airwaves with propaganda telling Canadians just how great Canadian things are. We were such great peacekeepers, we had such great healthcare, we took care of the First Nations peoples. But really it is all a lie. And I didn't see it until I left Canada and was on the outside looking in. Everyone in Toronto raves that Sunnybrook Health Center is a top of the line world class trauma hospital. But people in Buffalo have no clue about Sunnybrook. So yeah, sometimes we can be blinded by our own patriotism. But politics is a dirty game - and it is indeed a game. And it is also very dirty. Don't think for a second that America plays the game of politics on a fair table without trying to cheat and scam for it's interests.

People are also afraid of what will happen here in the US. Yeah things aren't looking good. I personally don't have any faith that this upcoming election will be legitimate at all. I think it will be rigged, if it even happens at all? And in which case I do see the possibility of a rebellion. But really I am not sure there are enough people who are organized enough to rebel. Most people will prefer to go home to their reality shows and sporting events and ignore the world - because that is what our culture has programmed us to do. I am all for promoting the real American Dream. I do love the essence of what being an American is all about. But it seems that that whole ideal is being morphed in the name of acceptance and diversity.

But you will stress your self out worrying about such things. Like I said earlier, I love just living for the joy and happiness of my family. Planning adventures and ensuring that there is fun experiences, learning, and interaction for all.

The summer saw me finally finding a new backend for this blog. I had to do some scripting to get it just right - and still need to do some tweaks to this site, but all in all I am happy with this code. I am slowly importing old posts from my old blog. I do like to keep old posts as it is like a life journal. Even if they aren't relevant to my current life - it is still part of the story of how I got to where I am. The old Drupal site is process heavy and was struggling with all the traffic this domain gets. So it needed to go.

I have also been working on revitalizing one of my old fictional stories I wrote 10 years ago or so. I am updating it and adding some depth to it, but it should be a fun story once it is complete. Perhaps I will actually publish it.

Coming up, my plan is to focus on a little renovation in the home, and also on restarting my model railroad project. the SVNO! My partner is eager to help with the scenery and such, and she also loves trains, so that is a bonus.

All in all, that pretty much brings us up to speed here.


  • Dude


    • 4 months ago
    Focusing on your family is the way it should be. So many Dads just keep on doing their own thing and thinking of themseves that they turn into deadbeat fathers who really aren't good parents.

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